Another Friday Night

Despite having received a better offer, we opted to stay in tonight and make a quiet evening of it.  I headed out for weekend provisions: calzones for tonight, ice cream, breakfast fixins for the next 2 mornings, whiskey, and milk.  I got home in just enough time to eat and then give Natalie her bath.  Things were moving along just as I had planned.  And then....

...As I was getting Natalie dressed, Bernie came in from outside.  All week I have been mentally planning to give him a bath this weekend, but tonight he smelled awful.  I had to push him away he smelled so bad!  Eric noticed it too.  Feeling badly about himself, or maybe smelling himself, he got up to go away, and I noticed a brown smudge on the floor!  Oh.  Crap.  Literally.

Eric grabbed him and threw him outside and then scrubbed the carpet while I tended to Natalie.  Once she was dressed and settled, but still not in bed, we devised a plan to address Bernie.  Awhile back (as in three years ago when we first got Bernie and I had aspirations of grooming him myself) I had purchased a "do-it-yourself" dog grooming kit.  As Bernie grew and his intestinal issues proved they were here to stay even if my grooming skills never fully developed, we held on to the clippers.  The downside to Bernie's hair is that when he is in desperate need of a haircut, he sometimes gets poo caught in his fur....(still with me??)  In any case, tonight he had diarrhea and it created quite a mess on his rear end.  Eric hoisted him onto the kitchen table while I wiped him off and shaved off the hair to keep future movements from getting hung up.

Normally this is just an unpleasant task that we have come to accept as part of owning Bernie.  Tonight though.  Whew was the smell just awful.  Eric almost threw up holding him, and I in turn almost threw up watching Eric almost throw up.  It was entertaining, I'm sure.  Bernie always looks so ashamed while the whole procedure takes place, too.  I mean, really, how embarrassing.  There isn't much he can do about it, and there we are carrying on and gagging.

So, after he was shaved, I marched him upstairs to the bathtub.  After a lengthy and thorough bath, he was blow dried.  There is something about being clean that makes Bernie crazy.  He runs and runs and runs through the house.  If you recall, this all started when Natalie had just gotten out of her bath and we were trying to wind her down for the night.  Luckily, none of the excitement disturbed her.

Finally, the night concluded by me scrubbing the kitchen table and wiping up the upstairs bathroom, then picking up from Nat's bath and the aftermath of our rushed dinner.  So much for a quiet, relaxing evening....