I Told You So

Recently two things have happened that I have long been predicting and trying to convince those around that they would one day occur.  Normally, I would be thrilled to admit I was right, but these are not nice events.  Maybe they are things that would not have been avoided in the end, under other circumstances, so what's the big deal.  But I feel these particular circumstances could have been prevented.  So, rather than delight in my being so knowledgable and awesome, I'm left to stew about it.  I won't divulge the scenarios, so don't hurry through to find out what happened.  The point is not to call anyone out, but rather to state simply my frustration.

Let me try to explain.

I would not in any way describe myself as someone who is "good with kids."  In fact, most kids remain a pretty big mystery to me.  I know a lot about what's worked (and what hasn't worked) for our kids.  I know our kids inside and out.  And I feel like with them, I'm doing alright.  I'm not one of those saintly mothers who never loses her patience, who always cooks nutritious meals, who has the laundry kept up, who arrives places ahead of schedule, not a hair out of place (hey, I'm lucky if I remember to put pants on most days).  But I'm also not one of those moms who accidentally had kids and still has way more important things to do than properly raise them.  For every mom, having kids is a full-time job.  For me, it is even more so, because I don't have an outside of the house full time job.  I get paid ONLY in sticky handprints on my walls.  So to say that I bristle a little when my judgment about the goings on of our kids is called into question would be an understatement.  I know how they respond in certain situations, what aspects they'll choose to focus on and the ones that will go a little less noticed.  

If I achieve nothing else in motherhood, at a minimum delivery kids safely to adulthood is among the priorities.  I always try to use the analogy that I wouldn't come into your workplace and try to tell you that X would happen even though you, the expert, were sure Y would be the outcome.  And if I did do that, wouldn't you be offended?  And if what you said happened even after I made light of your warnings, what would your response be?  Would it depend on the events themselves?  

Having kids has challenged me in many ways.  One thing I have learned about myself is that with strangers, I am very good at setting limits and boundaries (i.e. in my job), but with family and friends, I find that to be much more difficult.  And for that, I have to also take a large share of responsibility.  I knew it, I knew it, I knew it, and yet I still didn't stop it completely.  Life is about learning and growing.  Going forward, especially where the kids are concerned, I know that I need to be more forceful, a better advocate for them, and if that hurts feelings or earns me eye rolls, then so be it.  I can take it.  

When the Big Kids are Away....

...Ben gets to play!

Alright, well, first off the big kids weren't away today.  They were napping.  At the SAME TIME!  That gave Ben two whole hours of unlimited free access to Mama, the toys, the books, and Mama.  Normally, whenever any one of the kids is asleep that's my cue to get as much done as humanly possible.  Nothing makes changing the sheets while supervising two kids seem as easy as trying to change the sheets while supervising three kids.  It's all about perspective, really, isn't it?

Second, Ben gets to play plenty.  But usually whatever he's playing with is some treasure that he searched carefully for and tried to play with quietly so as not to be noticed.  He always is noticed, though, by Natalie and Jack, and they almost always take whatever he was playing nicely with and shove something else at him to avoid punishment, give the illusion of sharing, and appease a crying Ben.

So, unlike normal days, I didn't rush around, and instead sat on the floor with Ben and played to his little heart's content.  He got to climb and roll over me, he cruised around the furniture and took what was his first real attempt at an actual unassisted step (twice!), he laughed, cried (when he wiped out reaching for more toys and scraped his forehead on the fireplace--just a scrape, not a direct hit), we looked at books (for about .25 seconds...he isn't nearly as enamored with books as his sister).  It was splendid.  He makes the most adorable little truck sound when he pushes anything with wheels around.  I don't recall Natalie ever really doing that.  A boy thing?  If my internet will cooperate, I got a video of it.  If not, I promise I'll update the post once the video uploads.

(ladies, don't be too jealous of those eyelashes!)

(He still loves that wooden ball.)

All I can say is that Nat and Jack better hope that Ben stays the softy that he is now, because one day soon he's going to pass them both up on size and then the toy stealing and picking on him might have a whole new outcome!

Fun in the Sun

It's too hot.  We've been spoiled by such a mild summer that totally appropriate August weather is just not acceptable!  I'm not sure if I should take comfort in the fact that it's nearly September, or be alarmed that IT'S NEARLY SEPTEMBER!  Anyway, we've been laying a little low, trying to get things caught up inside the house from our busy first two weeks of August.  We made it to the pool a day this week, and did some playing outside.  We also got the garage/shed transfer pretty well in hand today.  Nothing fun, but lots of things getting crossed off of our to-do lists!

Natalie also finally got into the pulmonology clinic this week.  They diagnosed her with asthma for sure, and prescribed her a new inhaler and gave us a rescue inhaler in the event of another scary breathing situation.  I really liked the doctor; I felt she was conservative without being complacent, and set a timeline for reevaluating symptoms and medication efficacy that I was very comfortable with.  From here we'll try to identify some triggers of her asthma in order to further prevent any kind of emergency, which might also change the medication she takes, or hopefully someday won't need to take.  Nat is much happier with the inhaler (which takes a total of maybe a minute twice a day) versus the nebulizer that ate up a solid 20 minutes.  I'm at least encouraged that since she's been on the nebulizer daily, and now the inhaler, her coughing (which was fairly chronic) is almost non-existent.  AND...coincidence or not, she is sleeping better, and not snoring audibly!  All for the win column.

Do a Race with Mama

For regular readers of this blog, you are well aware of the importance of running in our household, particularly for me.  You can probably also recall the various posts about how I came to run and what motivates me.  And maybe you can remember back to this spring when Natalie ran her first kid's race at the Flying Pig.

Kids are so impressionable.  Of course I would love nothing more than for Natalie and Ben to both want to run and have the same passion for races, and the connection between setting a running goal and achieving it and real life goals.  The meaning of hours of sweat, pain, highs and lows, the emotion of race day and the overwhelming feeling of finishing is not lost on me.  Ever.  I would trade a lifetime of PRs to watch people finish who never in a million years thought they could reach the finish line.  More inspirational than watching the winner is sticking it out until the last athletes triumphantly cross the finish line.  In coming to support me, I hope that my kids pick up on those things too.  I hope that they cheer just as loudly for a stranger with no one else there as they do for me.

In the last year and a half I have gone to many races alone, because it just makes more sense than to drag the kids out of bed at 5am, cart them all over a race course in a crowd.  When they're older that will be more fun and more feasible, but for now, I understand going solo.  But this weekend was different.  I had my three biggest fans waiting eagerly for me at the finish line (even though one of them had fallen asleep just before the start, and continued to snooze until well after I was done).  With about 100 meters to go, I spied my cheering section, grabbed Natalie's hand and we sprinted to the finish line together!

Unlike at her kid's race, where she was intimidated by the crowd, she was all smiles and loving every minute of running her race with mama.  She didn't know that the race we were doing was just the tail end of many miles I had already run, and she didn't care.  All she knew is that she was holding on to my hand as tight as she could and her little legs were flying.  She was all smiles as she crossed the finish line.  (The finish area can sometimes be pretty chaotic....it's loud, crowded, volunteers are handing out medals, runners are trying to grab waters and snacks, people are hurrying through, some people are stopped.  But she didn't mind.)  She was proud of that 100m run, and marched right beside me, let the volunteer place my medal around her neck, and looked at me for approval.  Of course, I was beaming.

I just hope that she knows I was beaming at her having achieved what she couldn't just 3 months ago.  To run unafraid.  The effort is what made my heart happy, not that she was doing something that I love.  For many reasons, this race will always rank among my favorite.

Ben: 10 Months

Ben is 10 months!  On Wednesday he went to the doctor for his "9-month" check up.  Yep, we are still a little behind, but at this point we aren't catching up.  At 10 months, Ben weighs 20 lbs 6 oz (70th percentile), and is 29.5 inches long (77th percentile).  He has 6 teeth, waves hello and bye-bye, claps hands and plays "So Big," says "mama-mama" and is cruising along the furniture and will happily walk along if someone is holding both of his hands.  Ben is proving to be a bit of a picky eater.  What he likes, he eats a lot of, but he puts his foot down and flat out refuses things he doesn't like.  (He does like real bananas, green beans, toast, chicken, potatoes, and goldfish crackers!)

Ben has the biggest brown eyes and eye lashes for days...he's going to be a real heartbreaker:

one week

one month

two months

three months

four months

five months

six months

seven months

eight months

nine months

ten months!

(that's not a real cookie...he likes to much the food Natalie makes for him in her kitchen.  

On the menu today, chocolate chip cookies!)

(and chips!)

Can you see how long his hair is getting?  It's really starting to get thick, too.  

love that face!

Natalie still absolutely loves her little brother.  She's always cuddling up to him and saying "aww, hi little buddy."  Lately, whenever she gets to do something fun, she'll stop, approach Ben, and say, "it's alright, Ben, you can ______ (fill in the blank with whatever she's in the middle of doing) when you get a little older."

Smoky Mountain Vacay

Last week we took a little vacation to the Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge area in the Smoky Mountains.  We had good company, not so great weather, not a lot of sleep (ahem, BEN!), but loads of fun.  You know, the funny thing about vacationing in Pigeon Forge is that it is a really familiar area.  We used to go there all the time as a family when we were kids, and have continued to go back as adults.  As wide-eyed youth, everything is big and wonderful and exciting!   By the time we were heading there in college, you could really gain a good laugh at how "touristy" some of the things are.  I'm a sucker for a tourist trap...Mystery Hole, anybody?  But now, as a parent, I have a renewed sense of awe at the splendor of giant man made waterfalls towering over elaborate putt-putt courses, carnival carousels on the main strip, pancake houses aplenty, and just about any other oddity that a young mind might find fascinating.  Thank goodness for children.

Case in point: Goats on the Roof

What it is: a crap store, selling crap souvenirs

Their gimmick: the have live goats living on their roof.  You buy some feed, pedal it up to the goats.  A bell rings when the food reaches the top, and goats come running.

Unbelievable.

Natalie and Pa were Goat Rangers!

Nat's legs couldn't reach both pedals at the same time.  

Teamwork got those hungry goats their food.

wow.

she could manage the hand crank a little better

Then we did some exploring of old cabins tucked neatly in the mountains and woods.

We opted out of the usually crowded Cades Cove drive this time, for this gem of a drive that Mimi, Pa & Aunt Beth discovered on their last visit.  Much less traffic.

There was minimal traffic on the drive.  The top speed was about 15mph.  And the road was one way.  Combine all that with frequent stops, and the kids got some freedom from their car seats.

Beth suggested we go in on this one with them.  Kind of like a duplex.

Great Smoky Mountains National Park

One bonus to vacationing with all the kids is that sometimes they just 

behave a little better for someone else.  

Jack and I hiked back to check out that little creek above at one of the stops.  He wasn't buying it.

on our last full day, we went to Dollywood!

I am in LOVE with Dollywood.  It is just the cutest place.  It is clean, clean, clean!  The staff were all so friendly, and they had lots to do.  Way more than we could have hoped to have done in a day.  Because we had the kids, we stuck to the rides they could do.  But there is plenty of big roller coasters to have kept just the adults occupied, plus shopping, shows, you name it.  Plus, it's adorable!

there's the gang just inside the park

Of course the kids were sold as soon as they saw the Dollywood Express

a real steam engine that chugged 5 miles through the mountains

Nat passed out not 4 minutes into the ride

but she recovered when she saw the carousel!

Ben elected not to sleep at night, so he missed most of the early part of the park

 because he was napping.

partners in crime

you can't tell from Jack's face here, but if it were up to him, he'd probably still be riding that duck ride.  It was the worst moment of his life when that ride ended and Beth dragged him off of it.

Ben...next year, buddy.

  In the meantime, he was content to point and wave at just about everything he saw.  

our daredevil....she liked the roller coaster so much, we rode it twice!

Can you see her little blonde head sticking up just above the window in the yellow car?

Ben was allowed to ride this ride!  Can you see his little face...he even got to drive!

Thanks for hosting us, Mimi and Pa!

And thanks for being such fun company, Aunt Beth and Jack!